Opened a diary discovered diary written on the flee from famine-like feeling freed, saying that the free breakfast as it is the kind of repressed people for a long time away from school - Bei Jing Internantion Art Collage of a prison art. from junior high school to stop the replacement of school until I was home The high schools also could not stay, because I only like to play, like painting. came to Beijing all just feel like I finally do not naughty at home. In the closed school so I paint my paintings, at first everyone thought I to the future, how about, I just feel I can in this environment, limit yourself to run out to the Internet. can not stir up trouble. I was a late child, when they sent me to this prison, I was in turmoil, did not realize the new start. when I started a new life. people say that the feelings for a person grew up in Beijing days, my life continued there woman, for me it was kind of motherly love temptation, I know even if I can do anything, but always live in dependence, dependent on their parents money, rely on Grandma Grandpa's favor, relying on a person's sympathy and affection. and the same asshole.
X-the four years of my good woman, like me, has experienced numerous, too happy, too sad, confused too, struggled. until graduation that moment we all find our beautiful 16-year-old, passionate 17-year-old, the growing maturity of 18 years, 19 years old are pale I have gone away from her .20-year-old returned home, in his own dinner table after a 20th birthday, but it is losing the college entrance examination .20 birthday I still can not forget, a table and my favorite, but the day endured the tears of eating is to see Mom and Dad. I repent of my four years in Beijing. I have to present greed would lose, but I bet it is my life, life with the feelings of gambling.
life is conflict, but as a living human body itself is the appearance of conflict. If the recognition of this, and enjoy his glance, but to achieve this one must understand the tenets of accepted, that unconditional surrender. that is love. With this firm beliefs, have the ability to choose the most dangerous road of life. this faith is living faith, free from outside conditions. would not be called the end.
process. This means that mutations do not want to fade it recognized dignitaries Lost Dream, death, and confusion. It dignitaries aware that life is a fundamental problem is not solved, only the tolerance to accept the fact. The core is to be humorous , happy, pay attention to reality, not mindful of ethics. It is a pain to clean, its fundamental to calm. not rude and fit, to surrender, sacrifice, do not struggle, means, and not idealism. it encourages the growth of rhythmic tempo opposed by the speed and power to achieve the desired goals. change awareness is more important than solving the conflict. Taichetaiwu truly, realized the use in the future, all forward-looking. did not experience as a capital, the pain of suffering through a self test. now recall these events, little fuss. but it is something to stay himself.
said Beijing was a turning point in high school, then the university's first full feeling in my life, is one of my turning point. is my understanding of their process again.
Kiki and If I write out the story between, not many, I like to call her Kiki, very strange, very strange. I like Mickey, that is, like her from the start. Simply put, and the Church together, like most like everyone else, want to be free from a relationship. freshman dorm I was the only smokers, so now I can not do without cigarettes, and now that I am not a good smoking, because smoking on me said, especially in the first half would hurt to breathe, what would lazy to think. But I was obsessed with lit cigarette at that moment. is a pleasure indeed.
I like women, like with her . this feeling is not to be accepted by the people around, and since I began night out, although she was in the next, or the need to text message contact. her friends love her. always get with no results of the hearing or refute her. but for the kind persuade people, I did not speak. In fact, I had heart burn: FUCK, you all shut your mouth. you know to see the results, I want us together is simple pleasures, as the back of what happens, who do not know why you people would like prophets predict our future? Why did not you predict your own future? say those involved fans, bystander, and you clear where? hands like a child would interfere with the lives of others. say anything good for us, saying that this is not acceptable to me like normal, then everything happen to you, You will be calm as they are now? I think you have done not. also to hurt that person, no one as odd-odd case. but she did not say break it. do you think he is doing good, but like the old forces of feudal society, hard to separate us, the hard feelings of our said so dirty! I speak, and you really want to exercise this Offer, no water for the! thought that very noble!
these words, I did not say pressure in the stomach, but also because it is an odd friend, and I Because I do not want her back on friends a gold back to me odd. I'm still quietly put up. No one knows why I cry. Chilla live away from her friends about my abuse, crying and walked away.
Maybe this is life. just the when I do not know how to accept nothing more. In fact I have nothing strange, but I like to chat with her. like listening to her tell her story to me ..... I do not know what LES. my feel the time is injustice. In fact, I just do not know how to balance a relationship, how to make love on average, I Kiki great, so jealous of her friends. I have envy when I was only her friends know why me.
the eve of Christmas, odd sister home to Beijing to see her sisters -29 years old, but looks 20 years old, exactly like Li Yuchun, the odd particularly good, I was a In the water room to meet this sister, she gave in odd clothes, saw her under the train was just tired to come to the strange clothes ... really touching. water room for the arrival of sister teems with girls like Li, are Jiaochun sister called Sister. popularity surprisingly good, do not know those girls like Miss Li still like itself, in short, especially busy day, I do not have to disturb them, a man slipped in the street late came back.
festive atmosphere was very strong, and when all was still playing cards, and I pulled to the cards, because the last thing, though odd live next to me, but not how to meet, like the thousands of separated eight thousand years. see Kiki sister bought her new clothes wearing new shoes, I felt the inexplicable. In this Christmas, none of us who do not give a gift, in fact, all previously agreed to give each other rings. or rely on cards to break some awkward atmosphere, but I love that day transportation card transport as bad as me, a few laps down, a note on my face is full, N is also being punished drinking cups of tap water. In this atmosphere, in the cold Christmas Eve In the out of shape when I lost, which are particularly Bei Bei water cooler water to the throat seemed to be frozen, and I do not take һ����һ�� punishment and would like to run away, but you are afraid his behavior attracted everyone's dissatisfaction, but also afraid of their own tears flooded his heart. are afraid to leave the table Odd eyes. sister to play very smoothly, stop smoking, from time to time strange laugh, see her smile, I know I also lost. finally saved by Qi Momo to a Board, not drink tap water. But the atmosphere at the time, let me go have a drink. because she saved my card, save me sick in the stomach. suppressed my tears fell, and turned to the toilet says he ordered that more water stays bad bladder. joke, so that everyone happy, do not want to receive Council, let me suffering in that the motivation to play cards. but you can not did not lose, do not drink tap water. that was her.
everyone seems very happy and I calmly accepted the first 2 days of the KTV party, arrived at the scene they found the child had done it all, each man ran to his beloved close to the romantic. odd pick up the phone they politely turned down, helpless in front of me and sister, began song point of drinks. atmosphere of embarrassment again. sister, after all, sister, we break with the atmosphere, and sang songs to us, I let a cigarette, and drank the wine with me. simple and odd chatted I study life, obviously she knew I was odd that she said often children. I do not want to say, to meet casual what to avoid sensitive to events of the past, a person to sing, I'm good love songs sung by me that day was so bitter, and all means and odd in my eyes into a smile when touched, but that smile does not do is escape. escape We have a little better. to avoid the sensitive sister between us. I and sister a lot to drink, we are not a good drinker, rounds down, I've been lying in the corner of the sofa, like a dog. sister also many , and just like the person she sat still, after all, she is the sister, she wanted to take some. odd, or singing songs that often to me, - with the start of the journey there that Aya's music, her sister sat in his lap, eyes on me gently singing, I seem to always go back to our 4th floor stair steps that she sing for me, and said this is Mars, and only on Mars, she only sing for me. anesthetic alcohol me slowly, I can not remember anything, vaguely see her sister who sat, like a child, is protected sister. She pulled me up to sing over, my stomach in the churned, I rushed out of the box, into the bathroom, she with me, shoot behind me when I say okay, I spit it out all at once, so ironically, all spit out. is the popcorn and beer. From the beginning I was afraid to hear popcorn. Faye Wong and a song also spit, spit in the trash a lot more than I elegant. We are beginning to 3 people sober half of disco dancing, I will not jump the wood, sat there for them to find music, watching the faint panic and odd sister hold the jump so-called responsible for guiding the Fujia pay. get off at last said thank you sister, I feel sick and funny. she remembers manners, I remember he was a sister.
back quickly wash my face, to the sister to a cup of boiling water handed odd. odd pushed me back to my own gate of the dormitory, asked me to let me get rest, take care of by her sister, I have no one to see all her quarters would come and help, but they were turned down and asked for her back to his bed. go back to sleep for me, it is difficult, my sober head pain but I can not sleep repetitious. his own quilt kicking back and forth, against the wall to go ice my numbness. next faint voice close to the wall I heard it. there is the odd moan, my familiar voice. But that moment, what I understand the following. I forgot how to sleep that night , the tears flow wanton I forgot how much. woke up, no one in the bedroom, day and dark, odd coming over and my bed stood snacks, I never eat snacks, just and odd together, always to buy her the stuff back to me, let my heart burst of acid. odd then come see me already awake, the first thing that you and sister are really powerful, Biao sleep, ah, Shuisi had. She has not played it, you are willing to up and ah, she spent the night then, I starve. I barely smiled, and heard her sister say toss night, I would also like to laugh, think it is ironic, then said she was all right, drink, do not toss you toss me? remark clearly aimed at the odd, and she smiled, said nothing to sit on my bed, looked at me and asked my eyes how swollen so bad. I hate my ugly, she said, she is know, apparently he gave me last night was not crying, I did not care for her, down on the bed back to her, she gave me my dead lift sit up, I feel very embarrassed, I speak up loud, ah, I asked her tone of questioning last night are doing. Her answer made me even more not hold myself, . six words: ZYN I love you! written word through the pages ... I was stunned at that, until she got out of bed, I saw her tears ...
sister is clearly already awake I heard her asking odd, which went to run, how the expression. my heart all messed up. do not want to hear everything. see the sister to wash, I'll wait I do not want to meet, did not think that she finished washing After the hostel directly to me, and I say thank you to send her home last night, saying that Latin America is not moving her odd, non-throwing street, not her sisters give me a cigarette, I went to dinner with them I turned down for a long time, but finally she pulled to the odd room, but found odd was gone, the phone thrown in the bed, sister cried a few times, looking anxious, they wear clothes that she must go buy to eat, we went to eat her back to the hotel, I ask you, huh, huh. when my phone rang, and a strange number in Beijing, I Lai Buji pick up, hang up after throwing it in the bed, they put on clothes and sister down the stairs ... I went to Church with our sister often buy food shop with a full turn the odd times did not find the slightest shadow of a very strange day, the sky began to snow, sister was in a hurry, because the right path are not familiar with, and she asked me to take her to school to find that odd to see Korean cried yesterday, want to pull pieces of our school room. that we are on the Specialized classrooms. Campus dim light and that should be the first snow of the world, especially the United States, the first time I feel the campus is so beautiful. I remember odd and I said, the snow snowball fights with me and let me wait for death, I can not find to the north where, look I call do not call Nannan (South) of the. think of this, I have also accelerated the pace, and with looking for her sister, but rushed to the place empty, sister is very depressed, at least to be depressed than IA man ran out, do not say hello to anyone, often disappeared for me. I said this, it also recalled that before she had to throw me on the road, his sister began to play the ... speak, she Everyone loved her at home, to her spoiled, went to school does not always assured her that this time would like to see her, to pick her way home New Year, I am with the company, please leave it for 10 days. heard this, I feel around me slowly than I love this sister Church, after all, my sister, more than I understand. We chat with one of the Funny Lu Qiqi past back to the dormitory, we both decided to go to dinner, I agreed , took the phone back to the house saw three missed calls, or that Beijing strange number, I side of the back side and sister down the stairs, to know that the phone is a public telephone, the boss told me that the girl was wearing a blue dress to play, people have gone. my heart about the whole mess, that person is in this odd-odd ... because sister, said she sent information about the total issued fierce, do not always hold her cell phone and said to her confiscated .. . handset is sister to the Church ... I bought it and she said Tuesday, I went back to get something, want to smoke a cigarette, is the moment I turn around, strange coming back, only to hear the sister asking her what went running , she replied bluntly to see the scenery. It is surprising that the usual black humor, habits, the most painful time in her friends and laugh out.
soon as she said Tuesday, sister with you to see what beautiful scenery you enthralled for over an hour. texture .3 them went to dinner, and the odd point of my favorite boiled fish, the day the meal is my smile and the odd ... the last meal to eat that day who did not go talk about what we are, we said at the dinner table, like joking, saying his funny thing, I do not know why this is so over the day, as if nothing happened, took my meals are odd, and sister to slide back in the snow quarters ... and I have with her sister, the day she is very happy laugh ...... maybe this time, so that moment, I would like it to keep as souvenirs, back to them, I ran out in their own walk in the snow and the odd I have been to every place, I try not to think about tonight, what will happen to her sister, I went to that area next to the fitness equipment and I Church will not go there to play seesaw happy to find a balance. big up under the snow, tomorrow I'll be home, holding a ticket, want to just say goodbye to half of the term on the University. upturned board a man sitting there, is never in balance, inhaling the smoke to find the temperature sister, Alice moved to sit in the middle of the same balance. I knew I was comforting myself, after all, going home, I do not want to face that says vicissitudes of life to see what mom and dad.
and I had to think like a lot of odd-odd issues into account, the day we spend time playing cards, as usual, I was able to get 4 hearts after they excited, it is representative of good luck, and we call it a marriage certificate, and who who will be able to get licensing, to win a great possibility, indeed, that the brand is so smooth the first off let me go. but the time to train is 22:30's, and we simply said a few words of farewell, it looked odd one, she in the shuffle, because that she lost the license. maybe I do not want to look up at it, maybe other reasons, to I had never looked out her dorm's sister who sent me a joke into the taxi. ride, that moment, I can think of just shuffling look odd, but also to see my sister smile and look away, and all Good satire.
wrote this story, I have been smoking half a cigarette box, interspersed between me and a lot of odd little better together, write stories will stop to remember when I did not want to write about, everything is back to the beginning of their end of it the most heart and who have little better to write out is not always understand, the text is not out of the expression. than to have such a good word with the. written vulgar abuse will like a script, as we understand at a glance, do not even want to see, because it does not belong to someone else, is their own, only they will know that this is why the movies look beautiful again, moved the audience is only temporary. more moving is the dramatis personae, is a lifelong moved. But that is just a play. We are real.
I do not want to continue down the story, what happened is the black in May, but still found the odd his beloved ownership, it is our understanding from the beginning, I guess. that make her put aside the secular, to give up everything, even desperate people, is that I listen to relish the memory of belonging to her this .--- TIAN SHENG I am most familiar stranger, from beginning to end and I are chatting in the emergence of a singular person.
first year of life so that the end of summer, I walked out of the strange world that he alone began to take its own rest way, time is too fast, fall again, my side is still a blank, it seems that I rolled into another person's story, again and again, but I want to be the person to tell her story. sand, my story You see that? the other end of the phone seems to always say I do not know my story. not speak clear, is fundamentally want my story disappear. Now I want to register this story. like I put my time being that as your storage.
not someone who anyone. these words I remember.
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